3.22.2010

Second Trimester WARNING: IT'S A LONG POST

{Idea taken from Jess while she was pregnant with Levi}

Would someone like to explain to me how you can be almost 6 feet tall,
weight 110 lbs and have a belly like that?  Just doesn't seem right to me!
Since the moment I stared down at the LCD screen saying "PREGNANT"
on my positive pregnant test, I have longed to be in my second trimester!

Things just seemed like they would be easy then.

Your complexion improves, your risk of a miscarriage decreases drastically, you get new maternity clothes for your baby bump, your energy is restored, strangers begin to congratulate you, people smile and open doors for you, you're  not too uncomfortable yet... you get the point.

Sadly, I'm not feeling that glow that everyone raves about.  Rest assured, I'm not complaining; just documenting the truth!  I've been fortunate enough to not have true morning sickness, but instead, I feel much worse.  If I could just hurry up and puke already, I'd be glad to move on with my day. 

Instead, I'm struggling to find any amount of energy (far beyond the normal exhaustion) my heart races from time to time, I am dizzy, I am weak, I shake, and quite frankly, I feel like I'm going to pass out at pretty much any given moment.  I've done this now for 8 weeks... for 8 long weeks. 

Our house is more cluttered than it has ever been. My nesting urges quickly get suppressed by my lack of energy, and I'm starting to wonder, "What if I NEVER get better and don't have things ready prior to Itty Bitty's arrival."  I wish that I was a more fun Mama to Kensley and a more attentive wife to Rob. 

Thinking of all these shortcomings has left me feeling depressed most of the time.  As if that wasn't enough, I feel overwhelmed that I can't take care of Kensley... so how on earth am I going to take care of another baby?  Is two really too much?  I keep trying to tell myself that I'm an emotional mess, and one day soon this will pass and I will look back and laugh; but for now, the pain is too raw... and I'm finding NO humor in the situation.

On a lighter note, here's some things that have been happening in my life!

My "nickname" BELLY has returned.  Rob was given strick orders to never call me Belly again after Kensley's delivery, but now the time seems appropriate once again.  (In case you are wondering, Rob doesn't call the baby Itty Bitty, just Belly too!

I have been craving McDonald's chicken McNuggets and fries, which is so unlike me since #1, I'm too cheap to eat out regularly, even if I order off of the dollar menu and #2, I've always been more health-conscious that I wouldn't indulge in such greasy, non-nutritious food... that was... until this pregnancy. I'm still currently under my pre-pregnancy weight, so all those salty, tasty fries can't be too bad for me I guess! FYI: Velveta mac and cheese will still make me puke, no questions asked. How weird is that?

Rob says I'm "super emotional" which I'll admit, he's right. I'll cry at the drop of a hat.  Literally.   Church and sappy country songs seem to open up the flood gates of tears every time.  Another example; while Rob was using a shovel today and it bent, I started to cry because it's the only thing I remember my Papaw purchasing for me.  He got it for me as a house warming gift when I bought my first place.  Yes, my Papaw is still living, so that had nothing to do with that.  Simply, it was a gift from the heart.

We still have NO names picked out.  We had a few on the "list" but the more we speak of them, we both agree that they aren't the "one" so it's back to square one.  We're taking a mini family vacation next month to Pigeon Forge, so with that much time spent in the car, I am DETERMINED to come home with an official name!

My hair has continued to grow darker, so it will be official after Itty Bitty's arrival {Yep, I'm milking it for as long as I can} that I am no longer a blond. For now, I just look like I had a dye job go bad and desperately need to get my roots touched up! I can remember years ago being asked at a local restaurant if my nephew was my son (sitting next to my sister-in-law) and I told her that the waitress probably made the assumption due to the differences in our hair color. She seemed a bit taken back, and didn't realize how dark her hair had turned. I thought to myself, how could you not have noticed?

Well... now that I'm in my sister-in-law's shoes... it's hard to notice... until reality slaps you in the face!  Yep, my hair darkened with Kensley's pregnancy, and now... well... I'll have to come up with a cool shade for it, but, it certainly won't include blond!

My cooking skills have totally hit the fan.  I've never considered myself to be a good cook but I could plan a meal and execute it without fail... or the need for a fire extinguiture!  I can't even remember what meals have gone wrong this week, but the last thing I burnt were baked potatoes... and I'm talking scorched the pan black...and I didn't alter the directions.  What's up with that?

My belly is starting to get itchy, meaning it is starting to stretch. I've started using Coco butter, which I swear by since I was one of the lucky few to escape stretch marks with Kensley. {Notice that I am not discussing other regions of my body... I guess wasn't so lucky after all} I can still fit into my old jeans... just not always buttoned. It's time to buy a Bella Band or maternity pants this week...but nothing maternity seems cute. If I'm paying more than my normal budget for clothes, I want to think they are trendy and more importantly, like them!

4 comments:

Vicky said...

Good thing you put that "WARNING" on there cause that was a l-o-n-g post! LOL, but it was a great one. You aren't alone though I think a lot of mom's feel that way. I had more energy when it was just Nick, and then when I had to take care of Nick and go through pregnancy with Gavan my energy went down hill and now well....lol.

PegramPack said...

You poor thing! I know this probably won't make you feel any better but I felt the exact same way when I was prego with Bryce and I felt terrible from about 7 weeks until well into my 16th week. Ethan and Isaac were both terrible too but short-lived. Could this mean you are expecting a little BOY?!?!? And yes you will get your energy back and be able to care for Kensley--it just seems right now there is no end in sight I'm sure. I will keep you in my prayers!

Justin and Lisa said...

So glad you're doing the black and white photos!

Justin and Lisa said...

So glad you're doing the black and white photos!